The Importance of Self-Love: 8 Ways to Love Yourself More

I don’t think that I truly realized the importance of self-love until recently. I was always someone who had positive self-talk, practiced meditating, and saying positive affirmations to myself daily.

I thought that I was essentially checking off self-love as something on my daily to-do list. I’ve realized in the last two weeks that I was merely doing these things out of habit but not truly being present when I was doing them.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line”. If there are things in your life that aren’t going the way that you would want them to, then take some time to reflect on your self-love.

Do you truly love yourself? Do you realize that you are the only person that can control your happiness? Do you feel wanted and secure? Do you feel good enough?

I’ve struggled a lot with anxiety in the last two years and after spending a fair amount of time reflecting the last two weeks, I’ve realized that it all goes back to self- love. Your physical body is only reflecting how you feel inside.

You project your deepest feelings or insecurities onto people in your life and they then project those feelings or insecurities back on to you. It’s like you are giving them a role to play in a show and they then act it out. Instead of blaming others or thinking “how could they do that to me?” or wondering why you aren’t feeling loved or wanted enough then realize that they are simply just mirroring what you have going on, within you.

You end up putting too much pressure on others to get the love that you feel you are lacking.

If you are constantly feeling anxious, it might mean that you do not fully feel secure, loved, wanted, or “good enough”.

You might blame others for not giving you those feelings but the truth is the only person that can make you feel truly loved is yourself. Self-love means loving yourself because you are the only one who knows what you have been through. Loving yourself because you deserve all the love in the world.

When you look to others to feel accepted, loved, wanted, and secure you end up putting too much pressure on them and they always seem to fall short. When you give yourself love and security then you won’t “need” these feelings from others but you can simply “accept” them in a healthy way. You will then be able to give love to others without “needing” it back.

No one knows you better than yourself and you are your longest relationship and that is why you should become your first priority. It’s never too late to change your life and start focusing on self-love today.

So how can you practice self- love daily?

1. Practice self- love meditations as often as you can. You can find hundreds of free self-love meditations on youtube. These meditations will make you feel so much more loved & secure. They will help you release your anxiety and you will start to feel grounded. You will realize how amazing and strong you are and you can begin to fill the voids of love, acceptance, and security that you are craving from others.

2. Learn to have positive self- talk and say positive affirmations throughout the day. Don’t just do this so that you can check it off your to-do list but really believe what you are saying. “I am loved. I am wanted. I am secure. I love and approve of myself. I am worthy”. You will start to believe these affirmations and you will stop looking externally for others to give you these feelings. This goes hand in hand with #1.

3. Do things that you love (alone). You don’t need others to do things that you love. If you want to try out a yoga class or spend the day exploring the city, then do it! Spending time with yourself will remind you that you can always count on you! You will learn to enjoy being by yourself and having time to reflect on your thoughts. You will also be able to do exactly what you want to do (without waiting for others).

4. Exercise: You don’t need to exercise to lose weight or go to the gym every day but try incorporating some type of exercise into your life every week. Find something that you enjoy doing whether it be yoga, barre, pilates, running, going on walks, or going to a kickboxing class. Try out a bunch of different exercises and find something that you like! It will help you feel better internally and externally (trust me). It also makes you feel like you love and respect your physical body, which you should.

5. Spend time in nature: The last two weeks I have spent a ton of time outdoors, reflecting. Whenever I feel anxious or negative emotions come up,  I try to go outdoors and sit near trees, water or go for a walk. It helps remind me of the beauty of nature and it helps me feel alive again.

6. Get enough sleep: Sleep is so important for recharging your body, physically and mentally. Make sure that you are getting enough sleep every night and take naps if you can. I love listening to meditations while I fall asleep.

7. Invest in yourself: When life gets busy a lot of us forget to truly invest in ourselves. I’ve realized that I haven’t invested enough time in myself lately. Ways that I like to invest in myself include reading, starting a new side hustle, expanding my business, setting new goals professionally and non-professionally, continuing to learn about different topics that interest me such as photography, videography, wine, cooking, self-improvement, and learning Italian.

8. Focus on gratitude: When something is going wrong in your life, its hard to focus on gratitude or to see the silver lining. However, if you are able to take a step back from the situation and find a few positive things about it, then you will start to feel better.

Spending time focusing on gratitude daily (written or verbal) will remind you that no matter what is happening right now, everything will work out how it is supposed to. Be grateful for your current situation and be positive and patient about what you want in life because everything will be fine.

If I am feeling anxious, I try to imagine my life in a year or 5 years and I think about how this experience will have helped me to become a better and stronger version of myself and will ultimately lead me to live a happier life.


I am grateful to have realized the importance of self-love at such a young age and to really start focusing on it daily.

People in your life are simply a reflection of the thoughts and emotions that you project on to them. So the key to attracting what you want in life is by first loving yourself: truly and unconditionally. Learning to put yourself first and realizing that loving yourself isn’t selfish.

Focus on learning to love yourself more and more, each and every day and things in your life will start to turn around. I promise.

xoxo

 Melissa

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How To Be Grateful & Happier

This is the notebook that I created to remind myself to always see the glass (or wine glass) as half full. For sale on Amazon & Etsy.

I honestly think that the key to happiness is gratitude. Being grateful for all that you have and living in the present moment. If I’m ever feeling down or anxious I like to focus on what I am grateful for at that very moment.

For a few years now I have been waking up and naming or writing down at least 5 things that I am grateful for. This could range from my good night’s sleep to the morning coffee that I am about to enjoy. Every night before I go to bed I try to also think of things that I am grateful for that happened in my day. The productive day I had, seeing my friends, the delicious dinner I ate, and so on.

This has truly changed my life.

I changed my focus from looking at what I “lack” to what I have and when you do this daily you really realize how much you have to be thankful for. Instead of being envious of other peoples lives, take a look at yours! Yes, you might not have your dream job, home, body but what do you have?

Things to be grateful for:

  • That you are able to see, taste, smell, walk, hear, read, and write
  • Your job & make money
  • That you have family, friends, or significant others
  • Your home, clothing, and fresh drinking water
  • That you are constantly learning & growing everyday
  • Listening to music you love
  • That you are striving for your goals and dreams
  • The upcoming trip you are going on
  • Your phone, computer, tv, and the internet
  • The food and drinks that you had today or will be having later
  • Coffee, Wine, Pizza
  • The opportunity to make a change in your life
  • Your pets
  • The power of meditation & yoga
  • Reading a good book
  • That tomorrow is a fresh start
  • Owning a car
  • The beauty of nature
  • Your good health & your families
  • The country you live in
  • Taking a hot shower
  • Fresh bed sheets
  • To be alive!!!

These are just a couple of things that you can be grateful for every day. Make it your goal to start focusing on at least 5 things that you are grateful for every day and see how it changes your happiness levels.

I am grateful that you are reading this post. Have a beautiful day!

xoxo

Melissa

 

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Productive Morning Routine 2018

Mornings are such a peaceful time of day, or at least they could be. I feel like there’s so much potential to have a good morning. How you start your morning off can set the tone for your entire day, for good or bad. If you hit the snooze button 5 times and are running late for work you might not have the best day… Whereas, if you wake up energetically when your alarm goes off, make yourself a coffee, and spend some time reading then you are more likely to have a positive attitude and a better day overall.

I have crafted the perfect morning routine that works for me and I want to share it with you all. If you would like to see a video of my morning routine, then you can watch the video that I uploaded to youtube.

Productive Morning Routine 2018

1. The alarm goes off– I try not to hit the snooze button and I get out of bed.

2. Positive Affirmations– Right when I wake up, I read a list of positive affirmations (that I wrote), which I keep on my nightstand. I read these positive affirmations out loud and I also say what I am grateful for.

3. Make my bed- I like to do this first thing in the morning, otherwise, it seems to not get done. Making your bed sets the tone for a productive day.

4. Wash my face & teeth– I shared the products that I use in my youtube video

5. Meditate– I meditate using a free app called “insight timer” for either 10-15 minutes. This is a game changer for me.

6. Read– I like to spend 10-15 minutes reading before I start my workday. I am currently reading “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert and it’s amazing.

7. Lemon Water– I then go to the kitchen and pour half a lemon in a glass of room temperature water and drink it.

8. Breakfast Time– For breakfast, I usually eat a piece of gluten-free bread with organic peanut butter and a banana on top. If you would like to see what I eat in an entire day, you can check out this video.

9. Coffee!– My favourite part of my morning is making my first coffee. I like making a latte with two shots of espresso and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

10. Tidy Up– Then I go upstairs and tidy up my office and bedroom. This helps me keep everything nice and organized.

11. Plan– Then I look at my Erin Condren life planner and see what I have planned for the day. I usually add a couple of new things and map out my day. I am super into planning.

12. Drink Water– I keep a mason jar of water on my desk at all times. I try to drink 2-3 jars a day. I am currently using a free water tracker app that is called “Daily Water” which helps me make sure that I am drinking enough water. Water is so important to staying hydrated & having energy throughout the day.

14. Work Time– Now its time to get to work!


That is a typical morning in my life. I am definitely a night owl but I have come to love and enjoy mornings. Mornings are a time for me to refresh and spend some time doing things that I love. I focus on clearing my mind and starting my morning off on a good note.

Thank you for your reading. Let me know what your morning routine is like in the comments!

xoxo

 

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How To Have A Productive Day

Being more productive is something that almost everyone strives for in their lives. Being more productive means that you’ll not only get more work done but you’ll also have more time for fun and things that you want to do! I am always looking for new ways to be more productive and to have more productive days in general.

If you want to learn some new tips on how to have a productive day then keep reading!

How To Have A Productive Day

  1. Wake Up Early: 

The earlier that you wake up, the more time that you’ll have in your day; the more time you have in your day, the more stuff that you can get done! So if you want to have a productive day try getting up earlier and getting a head start on your to-do list.

2. Meditate:

I like to meditate right when I wake up so that I can start my day with a clear and relaxed mind. This helps me to be in the present and it helps me refocus my breathing. I think that this is key to having a productive and good day in general!

3. Make a to-do list:

I find that making a to-do list the night before is the best way to increase your chances of having a productive day. When you wake up you will already have a plan of what you want to get done in your day. I think that planning and writing out your daily goals will help you have a more productive day because you won’t waste time thinking about what you should be doing.

4. Get the hardest tasks done first:

Whenever I have lots of work to do in a day, I try getting the hardest things done first. This goes with the saying “eat the frog” which means get your biggest task done first. I find that if I don’t do this, I end up spending the majority of my day thinking about when I am going to do the task. So its best just to eat the frog!

5. Take breaks:

Make sure that you stay hydrated and that you give yourself time to eat lunch and snacks. If you don’t do this, you will burn out and you won’t be able to complete your work to the best of your ability. So make sure that you take breaks!

6. Analyze your productivity:

During your workday, analyze how much work you have gotten done. If you feel like you haven’t gotten a lot done, try to regain your focus and think about what you could get done in the next hour that would be productive. Sometimes I like to use a timer to time how long it takes me to complete a task to keep myself motivated.

Ask yourself, “what could i do in the next hour, that will bring me closer to my goals or dreams?”

7. Say no or delegate:

Sometimes we overextend ourselves and say yes too often. If you feel like you always have too much to get done then maybe you need to start delegating some of your work or saying no to certain things (this may even apply to social functions). If you want to spend your night relaxing but said yes to go see your friends sons elementary school play, just say that you can’t make it. It’s not worth it to overextend yourself and spread yourself thin. Saying no will help save you more time in your day!

8. Take advantage of your commute time:

Instead of just sleeping on the subway or train every morning and night to and/from work, try listening to a podcast or reading a book. Take advantage of the fact that you have to drive an hour to and from work every day by listening to a book or podcast. Instead of wasting your commute time, use it to your advantage and get something done!

9. Put away your phone:

Phones and social media can be a huge distraction for many people so try putting your phone away for at least a couple of hours during your work day. This will help you stay more focused on your work and less distracted by what your friends did on the weekend.

10. Stay Motivated:

My last tip is to stay motivated daily! Remind yourself why you want to be more productive in the first place. Have a vision board or a list of all your big goals/dreams that you want to accomplish and read it daily. This will remind you why you are working so hard!


That’s the end of my “How To Have Productive Day” blog post. I hope that you enjoyed it. Let me know what you do to stay motivated in the comments.

xoxo

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7 Ways To Deal With Anxiety

Anxiety is something that many people I personally know, deal with. The degree of anxiety ranges from person to person; some people deal with daily anxiety and some people just get anxious once in a while. Nonetheless, it is important to deal with your anxiety, no matter the degree.

I am going to share some of my favourite ways that I deal with anxiety on a daily and weekly basis.

I could be having a great day and all of a sudden my mind starts fixating on things and my anxiety starts to take over. Anxiety is something that could ruin the happiness of your daily life if you let it.

I have researched and practiced different exercises to relieve my anxiety and these are things that worked best for me.

If you suffer from anxiety, it is important to note that it is not a one-time cure. You cannot just do these things one day and get rid of anxiety forever. These are things that you should practice daily so that you can reduce the amount of anxiety that you have.

Anxiety may not go away for good but you can significantly reduce the amount of anxiety that you have and stop it from controlling your life.

So do you want to hear my tips?

7 Ways To Deal With Anxiety

1. Meditation

This is my #1 solution to dealing with anxiety. Meditation is key to calming your mind/thoughts and refocusing on breathing and the present moment. If you take one tip away from this blog post, please let it be this one!

I practice meditation every morning and sometimes at night too. I recommend starting with meditating for 5 minutes every single day and slowly adding more time. I now meditate for 20 minutes at a time, but I initially started with just 5 minutes.

I like to use a free app called “Insight Timer” which has thousands of free meditations. I like to use guided meditations but eventually, I want to transition to just using music. On this app, you can select how long you want to meditate for and you can choose a focus such as “stress & anxiety, recovery & healing, sleep, creativity & performance, and happiness”. If I can’t fall asleep I like to use a meditation called “Yoga Nidra for Sleep” it’s amazing!

Another meditation app that I have used is called “Head Space” which is also great. They offer 10 free meditations and then you have to pay if you want more.

Try out meditation & stick with it! Don’t worry if your thoughts keep coming up, you will get better with practice. Keep refocusing on the present and your breath. This will help out your anxiety after just one week of practice (trust me)!

2. Yoga

Yoga is very similar to Meditation in the sense that you are focusing on your breath and the present moment. I use to go to yoga classes, but now I just use free videos on youtube. Just type in on youtube what type of yoga video you are looking for and you will find thousands of videos. If you are a beginner type in “yoga for beginners”.

I must say that I rather attend a yoga class and its something that I want to start doing again this year. You can also get a free class or two at most yoga studios if you want to give it a try first.

I like that yoga quiets my mind and helps me focus on living in the present. Yoga is a great way to deal with anxiety and stress.

3. Exercise

Another great way to deal with anxiety is by exercising in general! If I am having a bad day and I exercise, I instantly feel better.

Science has “provided some evidence that physically active people have lower rates of anxiety and depression than sedentary people. Exercise may improve mental health by helping the brain cope better with stress. In one study, researchers found that those who got regular vigorous exercise were 25 percent less likely to develop depression or an anxiety disorder over the next five years”.

That’s pretty convincing to me, so start exercising! It’s good for so many parts of your body including your mind.

4. Think of your thoughts differently

Through meditation videos and researching anxiety I came upon this: Visualize yourself sitting on a park bench. People and dogs are walking past you. Instead of chasing those people/dogs, you just let them keep walking. You don’t overanalyze them.Now imagine that those people/dogs were your thoughts.

When my anxiety starts kicking in, I acknowledge my thoughts but I don’t give them any meaning. I just let them “walk away” and I refocus my attention on the present.

This is something that I have started doing for a few weeks and although it might be hard at first, it gets easier! Thoughts still come up but I am quicker at letting them just flow away.

Your thoughts are just stories that your brain is making up. Don’t believe every thought that you think. Imagine taking a step back when a thought comes up and let it flow away.

Try this!

5. Gratitude & Affirmations

Another thing that I practice every morning is gratitude & positive affirmations. I wake up and say 5 things that I am grateful for and I list positive affirmations that I have written down. A positive affirmation could be “today is going to be amazing. I am happy. I am safe. I am love” and so on. Whatever evokes feeling when you say it, is best.

Although this is a great practice, I notice that I still have some anxious thoughts throughout the day so it’s important to continue practicing gratitude & affirmations.

For example, if one afternoon I start feeling anxious I will stop and list 5 things that I am grateful for and then I might say things like “I am okay. I am calm. I am relaxed”. I find that changing my focus from anxiety to gratitude/affirmations can relieve my anxiety instantly.

6. Use A Diffuser

For Christmas this year I got a Saje Diffuser which is my very first diffuser. I have become obsessed with diffusing every single day. I specifically love using the lavender oil and the Saje “happiness” oil.

I am not sure what it is but when I have my diffuser on I feel more calm and happy in general. I honestly didn’t know if diffusing was for me but I am glad that I tried it.

7. Calm Music

While I am working I like listening to “Yoga & Meditation” playlists on Spotify (I am listening to one while I write this!) This music makes me feel like I am at a spa and helps me relieve my anxiety and it also prevents it.

So although you might not be meditating or practicing yoga, you can still use calm music to help you feel relaxed.


So those are 7 of my favourite ways to deal with anxiety. And remember that these are practices that you should perform daily to minimize and alleviate your anxiety in general.

I hope that you guys enjoyed this post & let me know what you do to deal with anxiety!

xoxo

 

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